When you’re pregnant it becomes a pretty public affair. Everyone from your postman to the woman in front of you in the queue in Sainsbury’s feels like they need to chime in and push their piece of advice to the top of your ever-growing queue of ‘things to keep in mind’. Whatever that means. I thought I’d start a little series compiling the particularly unhelpful comments I’ve heard during the different stages of parenthood so far. I’m gonna kick it off with ‘5 ways to NOT be helpful… to a pregnant lady’.
1) Saying things like ‘enjoy it while it lasts’.
STOP. Right now. Do not say this ever again to anyone else. You’re basically telling me that my life is going to go downhill from here; I hope you don’t have kids that you would most definitely be offending with this statement. What does this even mean?! Enjoy what? Are all the childless people out there just forever revelling in their childlessness? No. Whatever situation you are in, parent or not, there are things to worry about and get stressed over, as well as enjoy. My enjoyment of things has not taken a downward turn since becoming a parent, in fact I enjoy certain things much more, eg. coffee, silence, sleep…
2) Referring (however directly or indirectly) to my pelvic floor muscles.
Hey! Lady I don’t know! Stop making reference to my inability to contain pee following childbirth. Not only is it none of your business, you are not a gynaecologist. Pelvic floor exercises are strictly between me and my midwife.
3) Suggesting baby names/commenting on our baby name choices.
This was easily one of the most annoying things anyone did while I was pregnant. Saying that you knew someone of that name ten years ago that annoyed you is not helpful to me. And pulling that sour face of disgust is plain rude. If I suggest a name for my unborn child that I love, it is no-ones place to turn me against it, because now if I choose that name I’m forever going to remember the person who said it was awful.
4) Asking if me and my partner will now be getting married.
There’s only one comment to make about this – IT IS NOT THE 1950S.
5) Asking ‘are you scared?’
Of course I am! Why do you feel the need to remind me constantly and then laugh it off when I say yes? Anyone who is about to endure childbirth is in some ways scared, it’s guaranteed pain, who wouldn’t be. How about asking, are you excited to meet your child? Then I’ll be slightly less likely to curse your name during contractions.
What unhelpful comments/advice did you get or are currently getting during your pregnancy? I’m sure there’ll be loads more pearls of wisdom out there that I’ve missed off this list!